If there's one thing I would tell you to do today, one choice I'd tell you to make correctly, in order to live your best life, I'd say learn to take responsibility for your reaction to everything that happens in your life.
Now that's not to say that you caused an event you were affected by or that it's your fault something terrible happened, but you do have choices in every situation about how you will respond to each circumstance in your life.
"You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose,
but you can't- and shouldn't- pick your friend's nose."
You may have heard it in a million places, and surely there are enough cliches and rhymes out there to convince you, that you can only be responsible for yourself and not for anyone else. Your reactions and responses to every event and situation and person in your life are totally in your control. And only yours.
One of the things I hear people say they are most disappointed with is not feeling they have control over their lives. This stems from life events and circumstances that left them feeling out of control. But hey shugah, life will keep happening this way. Things will keep occurring that take control out of your hands. So learn how to manage the one thing you do have control over- YOU.
Become the powerful person you are meant to be.
Of course there is a lot that goes into being a person in control of emotions and responses. In fact, it's a lifetime of learning and only the rarest person will get a degree in it at the end of their days, but it is a goal and conviction that can put power back in your pocket.
If you realize that every circumstance in life gives you the opportunity to respond well and make wise and kind decisions, you will find that your actions and inactions have a huge impact on your future.
No one else forced you to not say something about that injustice at work.
No one else made you rage on your spouse or scream at your kids.
No one else kept you from taking steps toward your dream.
No one else put that food/drink/drug/etc. in your body.
We are a blaming culture and it's time to take our responsibility back. If we lack responsibility we likewise lack power. The crazy thing is that no one else should be picking up responsibility for you or for me. That's our job. Our spouses and children and mothers and fathers and friends have enough on their plates learning how to be responsible for themselves. Once upon a time our parents had that fully sitting on their shoulders. But we aren't two years old anymore friend.
And you know what?
"Blaming everyone else for your yesterdays
hinders you from changing your tomorrow."
When we take responsibility for our yesterdays, we put the power back in our pocket to transform our tomorrows. It's incredibly empowering to be someone who says, "I didn't do that well and now I can learn from it so that next time is better."
I've played the blame game for my whole life in one way or another. It made me feel powerless. It caused me to miss out on a ton of joy that could've and should've been mine. When we blame others we give away our power to create change. We get stuck and we stay there.
So if you're interested in keeping hold of your blame, you are making a choice to give everyone else the power over your future. If you aren't willing to take responsibility for yourself in the past, you are not ready to take responsibility for yourself in the future.
In what areas do you blame other people or circumstances in your life, previously or presently?
Do you believe that your parents are to blame for how hurt or unhappy you are today? Sure they had a lot of impact on you. Their actions and inactions, abilities and inabilities, affected you. But you've lived some life since then and have had opportunities to forgive them and move on. You've had the chance to choose things in life that will bring you happiness and change the course you are on. If your pain led you to addiction, you can fault the person or event that hurt you, but you cannot blame your addiction on them. When you take responsibility for your behavior you will also find the power to change it.
Do you blame a person or an event in your life for why you are stagnant and stuck? Can you really say that someone else is making you stay the same and not allowing you to choose different priorities, set goals and decide to make your dreams happen?
If you continue blaming, you'll stay in the same place of powerlessness. Once you decide that it was you making the choice to do or not do, say or not say, go or not go, you'll realize you can use the power of your choices to create change and have a new tomorrow.
"Taking responsibility for your life is the first step
in owning your story."